Divorce. The news media constantly bombard us with statistics about how many marriages end in divorce. Our cultures pressure us to view the breakdown of a marriage as a failure. Consideration for how such a change will affect our current status often leads us to an overwhelming array of worries. How will this affect me? What about my children? Friendships?
It is well known to therapists that often when a couple comes for therapy, one member of the couple is already considering divorce. That doesn’t always mean the relationship is already over. It really means that the decision making process may already have begun.
Whether you are at the beginning stages of making that decision, or you have already separated from your partner, there are many decisions to make. Perhaps you have engaged a lawyer to represent your interests in the legal matters. That is a positive step, but remember, your lawyer is there to represent your legal interests and is not a therapist. Your lawyer will guide you through the legal process, and attempt to represent your best legal interests. A therapist will help you understand how your feelings and emotions are affecting you. Understanding your feelings will help enormously with making each decision along the way. Depending on the role you played in the end of your relationship, your emotional needs will differ. The person who initiated the dissolution will have different concerns and adjustments to make from their former partner.
Getting through divorce, and recovering from its emotional aftermath is no small task. Working with a therapist as you build a new life for yourself, will help you become more resilient. The degree to which you are able to change and adapt will strongly influence your future success in rebuilding your life, and your ability to form stable relationships.